Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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