Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
