Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
