when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
