therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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