the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
