people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
