Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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