This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
