SEEEEXXX PLEASE
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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