Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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