and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sorry my hands just texted you
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
