Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
