I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
