dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
