It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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