You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
