Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
