why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
