Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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