dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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