Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
