I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
