i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
