You're so nebulous sometimes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize