I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize