I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
