In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize