Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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