Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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