I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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