worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
