i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
