And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
