I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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