:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
