Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
