Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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