I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
