it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it's like heaven, but drunker
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
