I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
