Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
