Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
