FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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