moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
