just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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