i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
