I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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