So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
