so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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