Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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