alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize