I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
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