There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
