I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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