All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
