Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
