Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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