you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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