READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
