you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
