We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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